For Those Who Feel Alone

I thank Heavenly Father every night for the opportunity to be a member of His Church. I thank Him for my friends who helped me have the strength to learn more about the Church and for the sister missionaries who taught me. I am so very grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One of my favorite things about the Church is actually General Conference and this weekend we were able to watch/listen to Conference. We had the opportunity to hear the words of the living prophet on this earth and to hear Christ's apostles speak. For that, I am so amazed and thankful.

One talk that stood out to me for numerous reasons was Elder Jeffery R. Holland's talk. A little background on my history with Elder Holland... Before I became a member of the Church and before I had ever attended a Sunday meeting, I went with my best friend--whos dad was the Mission President--to see a Stake President be released in College Station, TX. In attendance was Elder Holland who I had heard about from my LDS friends, but, really, I didn't know what a General Authority meant and I had no idea what it meant to me. Well, that day was my first time ever seeing an apostles of God speak and to be standing less than a few feet from him--I never actually got the chance to meet him--was an experience that even I knew, as a non-member, was such a huge blessing. I knew, even then, that he was someone special, someone called of God. 

Elder Holland's talk this Conference really hit me because of a blog post I wrote a couple weeks back about what a great blessing it is to know and feel the power of the Atonement. When Elder Holland said his talk  was for those who feel alone I was confused. When he related this to the Atonement it kind of made sense to me, but not completely. But then he explained further. Jesus Christ had to know how it would feel to committ sin in order to help us and be there for us. He had to know how it would feel to be completely alone so that when we feel completely alone, He could help us. He could say He's there at any moment we need Him. Again, for this, I am so amazed and thankful to Heavenly Father. 

Blessings Bestowed

Recently, in Relief Society, we talked about the hardships that Heavenly Father entrusts us with. Yes, I meant to say entrust. We may think our trials are simply tests or random accidents that were cruelly put upon us, but that is seriously not the case. Our trials, our hardships, our pain, is all there because Heavenly Father knows that we can handle it. He would not give us something we cannot deal with and He would definitely not give us something that He knew we wouldn't be able to come back from. Instead, He gives us what will make us stronger. He gives us what we can deal with.

When I was seven I went through a rough time. I thought that I was alone, I thought that I was never going to be able to look at my situation with a positive view. Instead, three years later, my best friend went through the exact same thing. And you know what? I was there for her. I could tell her exactly how I felt and I could be there for her. I could tell her exactly what she needed to hear--exactly what I needed to hear three years prior. I realized that Heavenly Father entrusted me with the trial because He knew that in the end it would be doing good. I helped my best friend and I never wish that things turned out differently. Why? Because then I would not have been able to be there for my best friend when she needed me most.

Another thing: When Heavenly Father knows that we need a little boost, a little nudge in the right direction when we are having so much trouble, He will bless us by putting someone in our lives who can help us. That one little thought brings a smile to my face. Heavenly Father knows that sometimes we just need a friend and He will provided us with that friend. When we cannot take another day of stress and pain, He will remind a friend that they haven't talked to us in a couple days. When we are stranded in the middle of nowhere and no one is answering the phone for a ride, He will prompt an old neighbor that we borrowed a CD about a month ago and should give us a call. That is how He works, and for that I am grateful.

About two Fridays ago I was near tears in my living room after a really tough week. I didn't want to call anyone because I didn't want to be a burden. I thought I was just going to have to suck up all my sadness and hope tomorrow was a better day. Instead, Heavenly Father helped me out. A close friend of mine called and asked if he could come over and chat because he needed a friend. That was my little blessing for the night and it helped me in so many ways. I ended up helping my friend get through a tough week and he ended up helping me get through a tough week. Heavenly Father blessed me right when I needed it most because He is always there in my darkest hours.

Looking for Signs

As an investigator, I remember looking for signs that there was a God. I remember thinking that if God really existed, He would show me somehow. I looked and looked, yet there wasn't really anything that stood out to me. And then I realized the truth. 

There are signs everywhere. The first breath of a newborn baby. The way the sun comes over the mountains  in the morning. The perfect shape of a flower. These are small things in the everyday world that astound me. I know they are proof that Heavenly Father exists and loves us enough to create such a beautiful world. 

When people asked Jesus for a sign of His greatness, for a sign of proof of His power, they did not even realize that proof was all around them. 

Seeking signs of proof is a sign of disbelief. By asking for proof, it shows that one does not believe in the first place. To ask for proof in the sign of a blue dove or a lightening strike, one is saying they cannot believe until the see something out of the ordinary or something unattainable. This is not showing our Heavenly Father that we want to believe in Him, it is showing Him that we are doubtful, that we need something ridiculous to prove to us something that already is proven. 

We might overlook the small details in life that show us the care and love that Heavenly Father has for us, but this is no reason to doubt. 

To Be Easily Offended

During the most recent time my New Testament class met, I wrote down these questions: Are we the type of people who are going to easily be offended? Are we going to be offended by God and stop walking with Jesus?

We spoke of the way some of Jesus' disciples returned home and could no longer walk with Him because they were offended by Jesus saying He was the bread of life. Yet, Peter says even if he is offended, where else is there for him to go? The other people/religions out there may not say they are the bread of life, but there are other beliefs they must agree to believe that are more ridiculous than what Jesus is saying. 

We were reminded  that this church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is just as it says--The Church of Jesus Christ. Not the church of Bishop So-and-so A Latter-day Saint or of Sister or Brother So-and-so. This is not the church of the members, this is The Church of Jesus Christ. If we leave the Church, we are leaving Jesus Christ. 

This made me think of my reasons for joining the Church. Yes, I came to Brigham Young University because of the environment and the people here. But the most important thing is that I joined the LDS Church because I believe in Jesus Christ and I want to be a member of His church. 

So, in reply to the question I asked myself in class that one day: No, I am not going to be easily offended. I will continue to walk with Jesus and I will continue to believe and keep the commandments and covenants in which I promised I would. 

Atoning Sacrifice

There has been a lot going on. Not only in my life, but in the lives of those around me. It's weird to think about how God's hand is in everything. In my Teaching of the Living Prophets class we talked about how the one way to offend God is to deny His hand in all things. I know better than to deny His hand in all that is going on in my life. In fact, I feel more comfortable with my life if I remember that He has His hand in all things. Back to what is going on in my life....

Recently, I had a friend go through a rough time. My friend didn't know how to handle the situation and after trying to deal with it themselves, they realized that not much can be dealt with alone and eventually came to my friends and I to talk about it. My friend knew they made a mistake and had to face the consequences. So as they face the consequences I always try to remember to pray on their behalf. I ask Heavenly Father to one day forgive this person and help them understand that while they disobeyed Him, they can one day be worthy to return to Him again. Because of Jesus Christ's atoning sacrifice, my friend can one day have this opportunity. For that I am so grateful. 

Not only do we all have this opportunity, but Jesus Christ knows each and every emotion we have. He knows each and every pain we feel and He has felt it before. To know this is to know of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ's complete and utter love for us all. 

I went through a lot during the time when I was considering whether I should get baptized or not. It was a hard time for me because I didn't think many others knew what I was going through and I definitely knew that my friends who had been members of the Church their whole lives didn't know what I was going through. But then my best friend told me one night of all that Jesus Christ went through in the Garden of Gethsemane and how He knows those exact fears and confusions I had. That was the first night that I prayed to Heavenly Father and the first night I truly, without a doubt, knew He was there. 

Interpretations Vary

This last time I was in my New Testament class, we spoke of the Parable of the Prodigal Son. To be honest, I had never read or heard of this parable. In the moments when my professor told us that the father of the two sons ran to his youngest son who had fallen, but come back to his father, I was just astounded. And the big thing is that Jesus Christ did the same for us. Like the father, Christ ran to the earth from His throne, He ran to the cross. I never really thought of it in that way. For awhile, before I knew much about the Church and knew nothing of Jesus Christ, I thought He was sent here, just like we were. But, no, He was far from sent here. He chose to come here. That makes me so proud, so appreciative, and makes me feel so loved. I don't know how I could ever not love and thank Jesus Christ again. 

Yet, in this story some people have interpreted the father accepting his son though he had sinned as unfair. Some people, like the eldest son, think that because they have been righteous their whole lives and others have not been until one day when they reform, that those who have been righteous their whole lives are more worthy and those who have not been righteous their whole lives are not worthy. They do not understand why everyone receives the same blessings and same opportunities. People like this make no sense to me. Shouldn't those who have been righteous their whole lives be happy for those who have finally found the way? You'd think they would be. 

For me, this hits hard and close to home. Because I have not always been a member and not always living right I am so very grateful to have the opportunity to receive the blessings Heavenly Father has promised if I do right. Knowing that my family is not living certain standards right now is hard, but I know that they will have the opportunity to do so later in life and can receive the same blessings that I will. 

Making Decisions

I was in my Teachings of the Living Prophets class yesterday and while everyone in the class became antsy to leave I listened intently to our professor, oddly. He was reading a quote from President Boyd K. Packer. He said, when asked 'How do I know when I’ve received individual revelation:'

“I think I should mention one other thing, and I hope this won’t be misunderstood.  We often find young people who will pray with great exertion over matters that they are free to decide for themselves.  Suppose, if you will, that a couple had money available to build a house.  Suppose they had prayed endlessly over whether they should build an early American style, a ranch style or perhaps a Mediterranean style.   Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps the Lord just plain doesn’t care?.....It’s their choice. In many things we can do just what we want.”

“Now there are some things he cares about very much…..if you build it then be honest and pay for the material does into it.”

“The Lord is very generous with the freedom He gives us.”

“Listen to this sentence if you don’t hear anything else:  If we foolishly ask our bishop or branch president or the Lord to make a decision for us, there’s precious little self reliance in that.  Think what it costs every time you have somebody else make a decision for you.”

(“Self Reliance,” Ensign, Aug. 1975, p 89)

I had to stop to think about this and what exactly President Packer was saying. He wasn't saying that Heavenly Father doesn't care about us, he was saying that He doesn't care about the style of our home. There are more important things He cares about.

At first, this thought made me a little upset. Kind of. More like surprised. Sort of. I just didn't expect someone to say it, though I knew it was true. 

During my first lesson with the sister missionaries, the ward mission leader came over as well and shared with me 2 Nephi 32:9. As an unsure investigator, I took this literally and I tried to pray about the many decisions I faced in my life. But I think about it now and maybe I don't need to ask Heavenly Father about insignificant things that don't really mean much to me. 

I know Heavenly Father loves me and cares about me and there are no 'but's' in this statement. It is just that He cares about me, not the silly choices I make about clothing or wall colors.

 Emily

Our Own Ideas

We all have our own opinions, our own perspectives, and our own ideas. When I think of an ideal day, for example, I may say that the sun is shining and I'm outside on a swing (stereotypical, I know) yet another person may say that it's snowing and they're comfortably in their house on the couch reading. We have our own ideas of perfection.

So, when Jesus told His disciples that He would be rejected by the people, they didn't believe Him. Why? Because they had their own ideas of what the Messiah should be. They thought He was going to be accepted by the people, they thought He was going to obviously be the Messiah. Yet, He was rejected by the people, they had doubts, and until He preached they did not know who He was. He died for them. He died for us. Yet, in their eyes He was not supposed to die; He was supposed to live. 

We often look back and think that we would have automatically believed Him, as if there was this light that shone down on Him signifying the Messiah. Would we really have? Would we really have tossed our ideas of the Messiah out the window and believed Him? I, honeslty, can't say I would have. If His own disciples didn't, then who am I to say I would? 

We have our own ideas of what Jesus and God should be. But if we were faced with the Messiah today, would we be able to call Him by name? I wonder sometimes, because I went 18 years without the Church in my life and I didn't know any better. 

First Days

I love blogs. Most importantly, though, I love new blogs and the very first post. I feel like it is the starting point for every post thereon out. It has to be good. It has to be meaningful. So, this is my good, meaningful post. (No pressure)

Oftentimes, the first thing I mention when introducing myself to a member of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that I was baptized on September 1, 2008, a mere five months ago. Honestly, I feel like I was preparing my whole life for the day I could call myself LDS and these past five months seem like years. You know when you know you belong somewhere? I belong here. At this university, in this church, even in this class. 

I came out here to BYU as an 18-year-old non-member who had no background in religion besides one voluntary year of Early Morning Seminary in the Old Testament with LDS friends. 

My first religion class at BYU was Book of Mormon and I was entirely overwhelmed. Funny thing is, that overwhelming feeling was nothing compared to the complete fear I had on the first day of New Testament. Take a look at my notes, really. There was no sign of understanding on my face if you happened to catch a glimpse. I wasn't even able to catch my breath. 

I'm not going to lie, Galatians? Didn't know how to spell it. Ephesians? What language are you speaking? I was lost. 

Two or so weeks later and you can even see my understanding of class lectures improve by looking at my notes. First few days you could see 15 lines shooting out from one word, now it's actually comprehensible. 

It's weird how the confusion I had during my first day in New Testament class was similar to the confusion I had during my first day at Seminary or at church or even during my first missionary lesson. And look at how those turned out: I received my one year achievement award for Seminary and I now am a member of the Church. Maybe I'll succeed in New Testament too?

Why not toss in some pictures for fun:

(Me right before my baptism outside the stake center here in Provo; me again right before my baptism; the sister missionaries who taught me)

Emily